If you read the blog last week I talked about creating a theme for your holiday based on how you want to feel.
That’s right, a holiday season based on YOU and your feelings.
Does that sound weird?
Yeah, I get it, I thought so to until I focused on it and now I won’t celebrate any other way.
As I said last week, my theme is "surprise and delight". So now I mostly do things during the holidays that bring me surprise and delight. Simple and oh so much fun.
For example, if a friend comes to me and says “Hey Robin, do you want to come to my neighbor's, boyfriends, son’s bassoon concert? It’s going to be so much fun!!! “
I’m probably going to say "no." It’s not that I don’t love my neighbor, I do . It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with her, I do. But, the holidays are short and that concert doesn’t have the makings of surprise and delight to me..... So the answer is "No, but thanks for asking."
Use your theme like a litmus test, reduce the demands on your time so you can get back to what you really want your holidays to be.
I also use my theme to create new things during the holidays that will bring me surprise and delight. Like this year, I’ve created “The Mirth Project”. I link donors with the Christmas Wish Lists of at risk teens. I post the lists on the group FB page, you can request to join there. Every time I post a list and someone adopts it I feel surpise and delight every. single. time.. So far, over 100 times. It’s wonderful, and it’s not even technically the holiday season yet…..
So what’s your theme ? How do you want to feel this holiday season?
If you haven’t figured it out yet do it now… then let's re-evealuate your holiday traditions cause....this ain't your mama's holiday!
First, make a list of all of your holiday traditions and activities. Go ahead.. do it now.
Next rate them on a scale of -10 (dread) to +10 (I wish I could do this every day of the year.)
Chances are the positive activities help you feel how you want to feel. If not , consider why you're doing it , if it’s purely habit or simply by default consider not doing it. ( unless you love it then by all means keep it!)
Next, hold each negative activity up to your theme. I’m guessing it isn’t something that is going to help you feel how you want to feel.
Ask yourself "Do you feel like you have to do it?"
If it doesn’t fill you with how you want to feel but you still feel like you have to do it; Let’s apply the 3 B tool.
Better it, Barter it, Bag it.
Can you better the activity? If it’s wrapping gifts that makes you feel grinchy then consider wrapping them with friends or watching a Christmas movie with a hot toddy. Think of ways to better the activity, often there is a way.
Can you barter it? Can you get your best friend to wrap for you and you bake cookies for her?
Can you bag it? Yep, back to not doing it at all.
Cause the truth is …..
You don’t have to Deck the Halls.
You don’t Have to put up a tree.
You don’t have to send Christmas Cards with cute family photos.
You don’t have to make a big Christmas dinner.
You don’t have to go to the Christmas concert.
If you still feel like you have to , I suggest a subtle shift is in order. Thinking you “have to do something" usually comes with feelings of resentment and maybe a touch of anger, instead think..
“I choose to”.
I choose to go to my neighbor's, cousin's, son's Holiday Taekwondo Extravaganza. I choose to because I love my neighbor and I want to spend time with her.
Think, "I choose too", and afterwards plan to do something that brings you extra "surprise and delight"…or whatever it is you really want to feel this holiday season.
Merry everything. xoxo