How to Love Yourself: Part 1


It’s Never too Late to Learn How to Love Yourself.


Think for a minute.  

What were the last 4 things you told yourself?

Were they loving?

Were they kind?

Changing our thoughts to more positive empowering thoughts is the first step to self-love.

See, negative thoughts we think over and over again become limiting beliefs.

When we stop and think about how much we expect from ourselves every day, how can we expect to perform at the highest level when we are so unkind to ourselves?

Many articles about how to love yourself are all about Epsom salt bathes and manicures. And while those are all lovely things to do for ourselves (as a matter of fact, they are crucial to developing a habit of loving ourselves), they are secondary to how to love ourselves from the inside out.

Change the Way You Think, Change the Way You Love Yourself.

All the massages and bubble bathes in the world aren’t going to really help until you get control of your mind.

It’s true.

How will a massage help past a couple of hours if all you can think is “I’m so fat”, “I don’t really deserve to do this” or “I should be at the gym”?

You might be thinking, “Okay Robin, this is all good and all, but I’ve tried positive affirmations and they don’t work.”

Yep. You’re right. They don’t work.

They don’t work if you don’t believe they do.

The truth is that 99% of the negative things we think about ourselves aren’t true. Changing your negative self-limiting beliefs does take a little time and effort, but you are so worth it!

First Steps on How to Love Yourself

  1. Identify the biggest negative thought you can think of. I’m so fat. I’m stupid. I don’t    deserve it. Whatever your flavor of negativity might be.

  2. Ask yourself is this thought true 100% of the time?

  3. Come up with at least three reasons why the thought isn’t true.

  4. Think about how you would feel, how your life would be if you could never think   that thought again.

  5. Flip the thought. Come up with a better feeling thought. For instance, if your negative thought is “I’m so fat,” “I’m not fat” might not be believable at that moment. But “I’m working on becoming fit and healthy” might feel better and truer.

  6. This last step is critical to changing how you talk to yourself. Look for evidence every day to support your new more positive thought.

Love Yourself Enough to Prove Your Negative Thoughts to Be Wrong.

See how amazing our minds are? Our subconscious mind is constantly looking for reasons to prove our thoughts true—both negative and positive.

Example: If you have a negative thought/limiting belief that says “I’m so fat” and you eat a dozen donuts, your subconscious uses it as fuel to prove that thought to be true.

So to change our minds to believe this better feeling thought of “I’m working on becoming fit and healthy true,” we have to consciously look for evidence to prove the new thought true.

Example: Say you’re making a peanut butter sandwich for your child and instead of licking the knife clean you put it in the sink. Or you take the stairs instead of the elevator. Both are wins, and you need to acknowledge it. Better yet, keep a journal of evidence and  write it down as evidence to prove your new belief true.

Over time, you will automatically think the new thought.    

Try it consistently over time and you will be on the path of self-love from the inside out.  


Now go take that bubble bath.



Robin Mcallister Zaas is a life coach in Columbus, Ohio.

She focuses on weight loss in a new way that breaks the typical "dieting" mold. With products like Not Your Sister's Diet, Robin can help you discover a healthy relationship with food and most importantly—with yourself. To kickstart your (re)self-discovery journey, try Robin's free Coach In My Pocket for daily inspiration that will encourage you to be born brave again. (Hint: You were always born brave.)